Frodos

 I have not been writing enough as of late, so I'm trying to do that now. This is the big "no more putting it off" moment. I sure hope it works, dammit. 

Some of my grouchy or aimless traits see more light of day when I'm in a dormant phase. My mind races a lot. Whether it's any good or not, there's usually content swirling around in my dome. Sometimes I show it to others. "What do you think of this space junk?" 

So here goes. I'll give this a half hour-ish and maybe it'll be worthwhile. 

A while back I watched a YouTube video about Nirvana. A musician from the Seattle scene who crossed paths with the band in the early '90s made a comparison between Nirvana and the Lord of the Rings. It hit home. 

He said that Kurt Cobain needed bassist Krist Novoselic in the same way that Frodo needed Sam. In order to accomplish that ultimate goal, whether it was becoming the best band on the planet for a year or 2 or taking the One Ring to destroy it in the volcano in Mordor, the special, chosen one required a best friend to believe in them. Kurt and Frodo were the prodigies, the gifted oddities who were like unicorns of humanity (or in Frodo's case, uh, hobbitanity?). But they were helpless without the dedication of their not-as-special best friends. A regular guy like Krist and an average Hobbit like Sam had no chance of becoming a rock music legend or saving Middle Earth on their own, but the same could be said of the unicorns, the chosen ones. They have pure hearts. They're sensitive. They can amplify a far-off whisper from God or the Devil so that the rest of us can hear it. They can change the world. They can also break like glass. 

Seeing this Frodo/ Sam dynamic in real life stuck with me for months, until I connected the dots to a relationship I was in that ultimately didn't work out. I am the one who wanted it to work out more, and I think that makes it hurt more. 

But another way to look at the breakup has occurred to me. Maybe it didn't work out because we were both Frodo types. Two Frodos (or two Sams) can't reach that ultimate goal together. The balance is essential. And it's just hard to find that balance between 2 people with extreme traits. (In my case, it is extreme awkwardness redeemed only by extreme blue eyes and beard.) 

And that's another mental trick I'm trying to realize to feel more at peace. She needs a Sam, not another Frodo. And I will no doubt overthink it and make it weird the next time I meet a Samantha.