Top 20 Movies Since 2000: Olig Boogaloo

As a wise man once said, "Opinions are like buttholes: everybody has one." It might've been Orson Welles... Anyway, I may not be wise, but I do have a butthole, so it only seems right for me to post this list. 

I was reminded of the opinions/ buttholes correlation when, like many others, I saw an online list made by Quentin Tarantino. The iconic writer/ director gave his two cents on the "Top 20 Films of the 21st Century." The internet went bonkers. Most of the uproar was due to Tarantino taking shots at respected actors like Paul Dano and Matthew Lillard. Some questioned the films Tarantino included. I'm in that camp. I didn't exactly whine on the internet, OK? This is not whining. "Wah, wah, wah, where's my Mommy and Casablanca Blu-ray? That's whining. 

I did, however, text a few film-loving friends about it. I had comments like, "I thought The Devil's Rejects was awful" and "Jackass was entertaining but it doesn't belong on this list." My audacity is not to be taken lightly. 

I respect Tarantino's choice to exclude his own films--two of which made my countdown--but ironically, his list sucked a lot more by eliminating his own conflict of interest. It was a humble move, yet somehow his ego still blew it all up. His disses and pointed remarks have stuck like shrapnel in the minds of films snobs with nothing better to do. This is what happens when egos detonate. 

When it comes to my ego, it's about to pop. Whereas others get gaudy explosions, I get a nice little pop--like filling a sandwich bag with air and crushing it. My opinions are on a different scale. But it doesn't matter if you're on the special education support staff at a small-town school in Wisconsin or one of the best filmmakers alive. To be human is to have opinions and a butthole. Amen. 

Just missed: Don't Look Up, Silver Linings Playbook, The Whale, Matchstick Men, Whiplash, Nope, Everything Everywhere All at Once, City of God, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Inglorious Basterds, It Follows, Team America: World Police, Lord of the Rings... There are a lot of great movies to watch. But The Devil's Rejects is not one of them. True story: I got to see that movie for free. It was late at night in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, and I was staying over at the house of an old college friend. His buddy was the theater manager. Five of us got to have a private showing in an otherwise empty theater. We had free reign of the joint, as if we were the only souls left on Earth. And 20 minutes in, I still walked out on The Devil's Rejects. 

Again, my audacity is not to be taken lightly.