CHICAGO,
Illinois (Associated Press)--
What
began as an ordinary shoot for a rap video bound for YouTube erupted in calamity on Saturday, May 14th. Prior to filming a scene in the parking
lot of a Red Roof Inn, local rapper Choco Ballz, 34, was harangued by Bajama
Jones, a 22-year-old bitch, for referring to her as a “ho.” At the peak of the
dispute, Choco Ballz, born Clarence Ivory, was thrown to the concrete and
beaten. Jones later offered the following account.
“(Ballz) started ego-trippin' between takes, tryin' to get the bitches in my
group all hot and bothered about his broke ass. He shouted, 'I wanna see some
enthusiasm outta you hoes!' And I'm like, 'What? How dare you call me a ho! I'm
a bitch.'”
Though
Ballz describes the gaffe as “a damn shame,” he maintains that he tried his
best to distinguish the bitches from the hoes at the video shoot.
“In the
rap game, it's frowned upon to mistake a bitch for a ho and vice versa and I
get all that, but hear me out: my director clearly asked all the hoes to form a
line to the left of the Cadillac I borrowed from my cousin. So, either she
can't follow directions, or else she really is a ho.”
Jake
Hostetler, a recent Film graduate from Northwestern University and director of
“South Side Joy Ride,” accepts a degree of blame for the misunderstanding.
“While I
do adore the hip hop genre, I'm not quite certain how to differentiate a bitch
from a ho,” Hostetler admits. “Perhaps I should have emphasized the difference
between regular-left and stage-left.”
The
apologetic speech Hostetler gave Jones did little to quell her indignation.
Jones immediately posed a rhetorical question to the director.
“First
off, how can a 'left' be anything other than a regular left? And
secondly, if that hipster don't know that a ho is like a mercenary who'll fuck any dude no questions asked, whereas a bitch is a loyal soldier
who'll kill for her man, he shouldn't be directing rap videos in the first
place.
“Pasty-faced
punk,” Jones added.
The
Hostetler/Ballz collaboration got testy not long after filming began. In response
to a lyric in the song's first verse, “I got a bald head like my name was
Horace Grant,” a nearby Jones howled with laughter and then booed Ballz for
what she deemed “a weak-ass rhyme.”
“Who the
hell is Horace Grant?” asked a confounded Jones. “Seriously! If you old enough
to know who Horace Grant is and you ain't made it yet, you never gonna make
it.”
Tension
escalated to chaos 20 minutes later, when Ballz made his bitch/ho faux pas.
Overcome with scorn, Jones confronted Ballz, shouted obscenities in his face,
and wrangled him down when he attempted to flee into the lobby of the Red Roof
Inn. Her rampage intensified after she thought she heard Ballz call her a “ho”
a second time. In reality, witnesses attest that the terrified rapper was
merely screaming, “Whoa!”
“Maybe I
didn't have to snap that antenna off the hood of his cousin's ride and whip him
a bunch of times and maybe I did,” Jones said. “We'll see which way Judge Judy rules when the time comes.”
Filming
was postponed indefinitely due to the fracas, and in response to the attack,
Ballz is debating whether to press charges or take the case to Judge Judy “for
exposure.” Before his gurney was lugged into the back of an ambulance, Ballz
had this to offer.
“I've
always been one to treat bitches and hoes as equals,” Ballz lamented. “But when shit goes down like it did today, I gotta dig deeper for that
conviction. To me, it's a real sad day not only for bitches, but for hoes as
well.”
As for
those aforementioned hoes, while they voiced disapproval, none interceded in
the fight. When asked why her sect failed to restrain Jones, a ho who prefers
to remain anonymous replied with five simple words.
“'Cause
that bitch is crazy.”
(Hoes' woes continued on page B6:
“Bankrupt Hostess Spells Doom for Ho-Ho's.”)
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