A vital question that I like to pose on first dates is, “What do you imagine it's like in Hell?” This is by no means the first question I ask; I'm not quite that tactless. But if this question is answered thoughtfully, with little reluctance, I know I've found a chick with a limber imagination, and that's a profound turn-on. When a woman openly tells me what she imagines Hell is like on our first date, I make a mental note not to screw the whole thing up for at least three months.
If the woman provides a cursory description of a massive underground cave, rampant with raging infernos and torture devices, I ask her to think deeper. The devil has a wicked imagination. It would be creatively stilted of him to offer the same exact punishment for everyone in Hell. Satan is omniscient; he knows everything about us, our virtues, flaws, desires, vices, and fears, things we love, things we hate. That's why I think Hell has got to be a customized experience unique to the individual.
Additionally, some people, Satanists and Slayer fans, mostly, are enamored with the idea of a lake of fire and boundless suffering. They are drawn to the stereotype of Hell; it actually fills them with mirth. Hell should be a domain of eternal punishment, not a thrilling theme park for sadists. Hell cannot reward someone for leading an evil life. Chalk up another reason why Hell must be different for everybody.
At the risk of stealing my own thunder on my next first date, what follows is a description of the horrors that would await me in Hell. This essay is going to scare me so much I will refrain from whacking-off, to God's chagrin, for a week...
Okay. Maybe not a week. I'll aim for three days, instead.
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To find out the horrors of my Customized Hell, follow this link to buy a copy of "There Will be Blog."
www.xlibris.com/NickOlig.html
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