If elected mayor of your fine city, I would not discontinue my vicious smear campaign against my opponent. In December, after a month's worth of earning meaty mayor-checks, I'm going to crank the smear campaign up a notch. Did you know he buys alcohol for minors just to keep them occupied while he takes advantage of their moms? You do now, and I promise to remind you of this disgrace and many others for years to come by setting up billboards across town that state the various reasons why my opponent should be ashamed of himself.
Losing this election won't be enough to convince him that he's an asshole. It's going to take a wrestling match to convince him of that. He won't be able to side-step questions about my steel cage challenge once I'm elected mayor. He can either sign the contract for the match (and tacitly agree to be embarrassed and bloodied live on cable access TV) or I'll vanquish him to the South along with all the other undesirables. And by undesirables, I of course mean all the people who didn't vote for me.
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Read more about the Len Finklin's demented quest to become mayor by ordering a copy of my book. It's called "There Will be Blog."
www.xlibris.com/NickOlig
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