There
are some appealing attractions in Fond du Lac. My
hometown has a pretty formidable trio of houses. The Galloway House
is a historically preserved mansion and village with mannequins of
blacksmiths and butter churners no one is allowed to touch. The
lighthouse serves as a quaint, locally iconic beacon at the south end of Lake Winnebago. The
Octagon House was once used as a safe haven along the Underground
Railroad. All three garner press on occasion, but I'm here to risk my integrity by cutting the ribbon at the unveiling of another tourist attraction. It's not a house, it's a
garage door. And as you might have guessed, the garage door in question
showcases two deer doin' it on a log.
Now,
I've never had contact with the people who live at this residence. Maybe
someday, but for the time being, the power of the myth seems unbeatable. Someone
asked the question, “What aesthetic is this garage door missing?” (which
is an awfully rare question, by the way) with the answer: “A silhouette
of deer banging... Of course!” It's not uncommon for
Wisconsinites to be fond of deer, but this furry couple is obviously coital. These Fond du Lac natives sure put the “graphic” in
“National Geographic”!
But
I admire their gumption, as well as their willingness to be
different—even if that means some parents are going to frown and hurry their kids past the garage door where the owners were only trying to
hand out candy on Halloween.
Big
deal. Adults will frown at anything for any reason these days.
One
way or the other, we can all learn from moxie of this magnitude. If
you find it weird or offensive, you're entitled to that, but I'm
honestly just glad this mural exists somewhere in the world—let
alone in my hometown! For good or ill, those deer are in essence belting out Bonnie
Raitt to the whole neighborhood: “Let's give 'em somethin'
to talk about...”
On
that note, I think some readers are adult enough to discuss the matter
in a mature manner. As for me, I can at least discuss it somehow. For
instance, does the mural have a title? Suggestions I've heard range
from “Doey Style” to “Rammin' Bambi” to “The Buck Comes
Here.” Either they're all legit or else I've just accidentally
signed up for a class that teaches cretins how to be more sensitive about provocative garage doors.
Maybe
the artist conceived the mural from a more appreciative and serious
perspective. This could be the work of a visionary brandishing his or her masterpiece to the mail carrier.
“Note
how the doe welcomes the buck even though his front hooves cannot
reach her hips, and behold the way the space between them suggests
the security of a womb. Tell me our neighbors had the right to
boycott our presence at last summer's block party and I shall call
you a tyrant.
“And
how dare the commoners call it 'Doey Style,'” they might add in a cavalier
tone. “Its proper title is 'Velvet Conquest of the Ruminant Mammals.'”
Hell,
it might be art. Genuine, heartfelt art. Who knows anymore? And who ever thought they had the
right to judge art in the first place? Especially garage art in Fond du Lac.
For
the sake of discussion, though, and let's be super serious, do you think
there are other wild animals depicted inside the house? And if so, what
are they doing? Judging by the garage door, I'd say having sex has
got to be deemed a real possibility. Maybe what's on display in the
living room lends the garage door a PG-13 rating by contrast. Maybe
the residents are into taxidermy, and they arrange various
creatures of the forest in poses of three-dimensional passion. Even
I'd have to question the merit of installations like “Muskrat
Love,” “Raccoon Swoon,” and “Badger Vadger.” I'm no lawyer,
but a lurid enterprise like that might be “Bearly Legal.”
This
is all speculation, mind you, courtesy of a guy who thinks too much
mostly because he doesn't want to pay a cable bill.
Still, "Doey Style" has left an indelible mark on my hometown experience.
Whether it's a tribute to forest animals getting their re-population on (or at least having a good time while failing to do so), or it was conceived for the sake of shock
value--and with the realization that perhaps I'm being a jerk here--I'm grateful for this mural. As far as our landmarks go, I'd argue it's got more character than the lighthouse.
But
how does it rank beside our roving landmark, the badass black
truck covered in KISS decals? We'll tackle that monumental topic
another time. It should be one helluva showdown. KISS may have aspired to rock
and roll all night, but those deer are clearly partying everyday.
