Top 20 Movies Since 2000: Olig Boogaloo

As a wise man once said, "Opinions are like buttholes: everybody has one." It might've been Orson Welles... Anyway, I may not be wise, but I do have a butthole, so it only seems right for me to post this list. 

I was reminded of the opinions/ buttholes correlation when, like many others, I saw an online list made by Quentin Tarantino. The iconic writer/ director gave his two cents on the "Top 20 Films of the 21st Century." The internet went bonkers. Most of the uproar was due to Tarantino taking shots at respected actors like Paul Dano and Matthew Lillard. Some questioned the films Tarantino included. I'm in that camp. I didn't exactly whine on the internet, OK? This is not whining. "Wah, wah, wah, where's my Mommy and Casablanca Blu-ray? That's whining. 

I did, however, text a few film-loving friends about it. I had comments like, "I thought The Devil's Rejects was awful" and "Jackass was entertaining but it doesn't belong on this list." My audacity is not to be taken lightly. 

I respect Tarantino's choice to exclude his own films--two of which made my countdown--but ironically, his list sucked a lot more by eliminating his own conflict of interest. It was a humble move, yet somehow his ego still blew it all up. His disses and pointed remarks have stuck like shrapnel in the minds of films snobs with nothing better to do. This is what happens when egos detonate. 

When it comes to my ego, it's about to pop. Whereas others get gaudy explosions, I get a nice little pop--like filling a sandwich bag with air and crushing it. My opinions are on a different scale. But it doesn't matter if you're on the special education support staff at a small-town school in Wisconsin or one of the best filmmakers alive. To be human is to have opinions and a butthole. Amen. 

Just missed: Don't Look Up, Silver Linings Playbook, The Whale, Matchstick Men, Whiplash, Nope, Everything Everywhere All at Once, City of God, The Grand Budapest Hotel, Inglorious Basterds, It Follows, Team America: World Police, Lord of the Rings... There are a lot of great movies to watch. But The Devil's Rejects is not one of them. True story: I got to see that movie for free. It was late at night in Lake Geneva, Wisconsin, and I was staying over at the house of an old college friend. His buddy was the theater manager. Five of us got to have a private showing in an otherwise empty theater. We had free reign of the joint, as if we were the only souls left on Earth. And 20 minutes in, I still walked out on The Devil's Rejects. 

Again, my audacity is not to be taken lightly. 

Top 10s Return

My Top 42 Video Games

42.) Super Return of the Jedi… SNES

41.) Super Smash Bros… N64

40.) Castlevania… NES

39.) Earthbound… SNES

38.) Perfect Dark… N64

37.) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time… SNES

36.) X-Men 2: Clone Wars… Sega

35.) Street Fighter II Turbo… SNES

34.) Super Punch-out!... SNES

33.) Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater 3… PS2

32.) NBA Live 2003… PS2

31.) Crystalis… NES

30.) The Legend of Zelda… NES

29.) Banjo Kazooie… N64

28.) Silent Hill… PS1

27.) Super Castlevania IV… SNES

26.) X-Men Legends II: Rise of Apocalypse… PS2

25.) Star Fox 64… N64

24.) Tecmo Super Bowl III: Final Edition… SNES

23.) Metal Gear Solid: Sons of Liberty… PS2

22.) Goldeneye 007… N64

21.) Super Mario All-Stars… SNES

20.) Mario Kart 64… N64

19.) The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past… SNES

18.) Resident Evil… PS1

17.) Castlevania: Symphony of the Night… PS1

16.) Madden ‘10/ series… PS2

15.) Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy’s Kong Quest… SNES

14.) Grand Theft Auto: Vice City… PS2

13.) NBA Jam… SNES

12.) Ken Griffey Jr. Presents Major League Baseball… SNES

11.) The Simpsons: Hit and Run… PS2

10.)  WWF No Mercy… N64

9.) Super Mario World… SNES

8.) Zombies Ate My Neighbors… SNES

7.) Donkey Kong Country… SNES

6.) Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time… N64

5.) Resident Evil 2… PS1 > N64

4.) Super Metroid… SNES

3.) Super Mario 64… N64

2.) Tecmo Super Bowl… NES

1.) Resident Evil 4… PS2/ Gamecube